Have you ever worked on something, knowing exactly what you are wanting to do, and then find a hitch that changes everything? Well, that seemed to happen to me already this month. I am the kind of person that works until I find a set system or course of attack. This sometimes makes it difficult to go either go forward, because everything has to be right the first time, or to reflect on past mistakes. Only recently have I discovered that I discovered more usable information about works in the collection. Sadly works that I have already worked with. So once again I had to go back through what I have already finished and insert the new information.
This has been a frustrating issue that I've had during the course of this semester. There always seems to be something new that I have to consider and adapt around. That I keep finding more and more resources is a good thing, however, it doesn't stop my frustration. Why wasn't I observant enough to get it the first time?
This internship has taught me a lot of things, sometimes at an incredibly alarming rate. Every day I try to create more faster methods only to be stopped by another mystery or discovery. If only things would organize themselves to appear at the appropriate times. If only I was not too stressed to enjoy the scavenger hunt and give it the respect it deserves. If only "if only"s were realities and not fantasies.
If only, if only the woodpecker cries,
the bark on the tree was as soft as the skies
while the wolf waits below,
hungry and lonely
he cries to the moon, if only, if only
poem from Louis Sachar's Holes
(every time I get on an If Only kick, I think of that poem)
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